Why Aren’t Millennials Getting Married?

In 2016, Time magazine reported that divorce rates had reached a 40 year low. After a sharp increase in the 1970s, these numbers have steadily dropped over the past three decades. While this is great news for families, this steady decline has also been met with a steady reduction in the number of marriages each year. When compared to the rate of marriage, the divorce rate has dropped very slightly (roughly 46% of all marriages had ended in divorce by 2014), but overall, marriage rates are at an all-time low in nearly a century and a half. It’s no wonder Millennials are waiting longer than ever to get married.

But why is this happening?

Millennials are typically considered to be those born between the early ’80s and early ’00s, originally named for those expecting to graduate around the turn of the millennium. Also sometimes called the “echo boomers”, they are the kids (now in their teens, 20’s and 30’s) born during a period of rising birth rates, and children of the “baby boomers”. Millennials are thought to be civic-minded, community-oriented, and concerned with both local and global affairs, however, studies show that they are less likely to follow politics, less likely to have deep philosophical views, and less likely to be involved in community programs than previous generations. They are more likely to consider wealth to be very important, and somewhat ironically, more likely to vote. In the decades prior to their birth, we saw the rise of the civil rights movement and 2nd and 3rd wave feminism, which primarily focused on inequality, cultural norms, and the role of women in society, access to birth control, and sexual liberation. The social, political, and cultural liberation of women in the 1960s likely contributed significantly to the dramatic rise in the divorce rate in the 1970s and a good part of the changing social landscape we’re experiencing today.

During the forty-year period between 1970 and 2010, there was a slow adoption of “no-fault” divorce laws, which some believe made it easier for parents to end their marriages and contributed to a breakdown of the family unit. But the data does not support a direct causal relationship. In fact, no-fault divorce laws not only discourage blame and conflict in an already broken union, but they’ve been attributed to up to a 16% reduction in female divorce-related suicide and a 30% reduction in domestic violence. “No-fault” divorce laws don’t cause divorce, they help reduce the potential damage from high-conflict partners in a highly litigious legal system. Having the ability to end a bad marriage also creates more equality within the relationship, encouraging each partner to invest a little more into their own education and career, putting both on more equal footing. Knowing that both partners have to remain fully invested in order to make relationships work may ultimately result in stronger marriages and stronger families.

A generation born to divorcing parents seems to have resulted in couples waiting longer to get married, but not necessarily to avoid having kids of their own. In 1970, the number of children born to unwed mothers was about 10%. By 1980, it had nearly doubled to 18.9%, and by 2014, it had more than doubled again, to about 40.2%. Today, due to both divorce and unwedded childbirths, nearly a third of all children in America are growing up in homes without one of their biological parents. This epidemic of single-parent, predominantly fatherless households has been correlated with rising social issues such as drug use, teen pregnancy, crime, mental health issues, poor school performance, and increased rates of incarceration. The changing economy has made it more and more difficult to make ends meet on a single income, with about 60% of those kids growing up in single-parent households near or below the poverty line. This does not imply that single mothers are to blame for all of the world’s social ills. What it does mean is that we need our nation’s fathers to be equally supported and encouraged in living up to their roles as parents.

An astronomical rise in the number of split homes is not all our up and coming generation has had to deal with. The 1990s saw a marked uptick of school place death and violence. Since the turn of the century, there have been nearly as many school shootings to date than in the past hundred years. Millennials have early memories of the tragedies of September 11, 2001, and the United States entering a period of nearly two decades of war in Afghanistan and Iraq. By the time most millennials had entered the workforce, the world had entered a five year period of economic decline known as the “Great Recession”, which began in 2007 with a financial crisis spurred by rapid declines in the stock market, housing prices, and financial instruments. One in five high school-aged boys is taking doctor prescribed amphetamines for ADHD. Nearly twice as many children are on a variety of psychiatric drugs, over 8.3 million kids, including antipsychotics, anti-anxiety, and antidepressant medications. Millennials have inherited a nation where even a college education doesn’t promise financial security, college loans keep them in debt for decades, and achieving the financial success they desire is all but a pipe dream without a dual-income household. The “American Dream”, for many of us, is a relic of the past.

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts.


  1. Abrams, Abigail (Nov 17, 2016). Divorce Rate in the U.S. Drops to Nearly 40-Year Low. Time Magazine. Retrieved Feb 10, 2018: http://time.com/4575495/divorce-rate-nearly-40-year-low/
  2. Castillo, Michelle (Mar 15, 2013). Almost half of the first babies in the U.S. born to unwed mothers. CBS News. Retrieved Feb 10, 2018: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/almost-half-of-first-babies-in-us-born-to-unwed-mothers/
  3. CCHR International (Apr 2014). Number of Children & Adolescents Taking Psychiatric Drugs in the U.S. Retrieved Feb 10, 2018: https://www.cchrint.org/psychiatric-drugs/children-on-psychiatric-drugs/
  4. Coontz, Stephanie (Jun 16, 2010). Divorce, No-Fault Style. The New York Times. Retrieved Feb 10, 2018: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/17/opinion/17coontz.html
  5. Hamilton, Brady, et al. (Dec 23, 2015). Births: Final Data for 2014. National Vital Statistics Reports, 64:12. Retrieved Feb 10, 2018: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr64/nvsr64_12.pdf
  6. Hymowitz, Kay (Dec 3, 2012). The Real, Complex Connection Between Single-Parent Families and Crime. The Atlantic. Retrieved Feb 10, 2018: https://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2012/12/the-real-complex-connection-between-single-parent-families-and-crime/265860/
  7. Population Review Bureau (Mar 2003). Traditional Families Only Account for 7 Percent of U.S. Households. Retrieved Feb 11, 2018: http://www.prb.org/Publications/Articles/2003/TraditionalFamiliesAccountforOnly7PercentofUSHouseholds.aspx
  8. Sax, Leonard (Apr 8, 2013). Why Not Just Put All the Kids on Medication? Psychology Today. Retrieved Feb 10, 2018: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sax-sex/201304/why-not-just-put-all-the-kids-medication
  9. Swanson, Ana (Jun 23, 2015). 144 years of marriage and divorce in the United States, in one chart. Retrieved Feb 10, 2018:  https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/06/23/144-years-of-marriage-and-divorce-in-the-united-states-in-one-chart/
  10. US Dept of Commerce (Sept 1997). Census Report. Retrieved Feb 10, 2018: https://www.census.gov/prod/3/97pubs/cb-9701.pdf
  11. Wikipedia. Millennials. Retrieved Feb 10, 2018: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Millennials
  12. Wikipedia. History of Feminism. Retrieved Feb 10, 2018: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_feminism

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *